NicCi

entered my life through work and struck me like a bolt of lightning. Her style, sense of humor and those eyes. We both have busy roles that don’t require us to frequently intersect. On our last gig together I immediately felt that I wanted her to be in this series but didn’t ask, I was scared.

She’s not technically a “friend” and I didn’t want to sound creepy. There’s been a much needed social-reckoning in the past few years and it’s far from being equitable or over. I’m constantly aware of words like “male-gaze & “white-gaze.” As a person who makes their living by staring for a living it adds a layer of complexity. I stare when I’m off the clock, people, light, nature, animals, debris, you name it. I’m constantly fascinated.

For me, once an idea appears it’s followed by ripples of doubt that question and cross examine its merits and motives. Maybe that’s good but all I have to do is question my intent and if it’s pure then it’s ok.

After a few hours I said “fuck it” and asked. Without a pause she said Yes. Our relationship subtly changed after that and we had a bond, an impending date to be vulnerable together.

When she arrived at our house she was aversion of herself that I’d never seen and opened up this project in ways that I couldn’t imagine. She rocked the chair like a pro. “I was a runway model 100 years ago “ she told me. Once a model, always a model I guess.

Wherever our friendship goes we’ll always share this moment of crystallized vulnerability. I saw her and she let me see what was and is.

Pure Magic. We’ll always have this little connection. Good fertilizer for any human connection. A colleague who intrigues can be a #portraitofafriend in the making.